


Mirage

by PalestAzure



Category: Star Wars Legends: Dawn of the Jedi (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Star Wars - Freeform, star wars legends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22678942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PalestAzure/pseuds/PalestAzure
Summary: Tau and Shae use their pilgrimage in the Silent Desert to find their own balance in the Force. But through it all, they will learn more about the extent of their Force bond with each other as Shae finds her balance through her ultimate fear and Tau finds his balance through his ultimate love.
Relationships: Shae Koda & Xesh | Tau, Shae Koda/Xesh | Tau, Xesh/Tau & Shae Koda
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Mirage

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished reading this series and I am obsessed with it. It is that amazing and satisfying! 
> 
> Important things to know from this series: (1) It takes place about 25,000 years before the Skywalkers; (2) It's all about the balance of the light and dark sides of the Force and even criticizes being only of one side; (3) Forcesabers were originally used only by dark side users until Xesh/Tau taught the Je’daii (Jedi) how to make their own; (4) Tython was the original planet where it was believed the Force was; and (5) Xesh/Tau was a child slave who was groomed to be a dark side user and a Force Hound for the Rakata species and hunted for planets with the Force. Shae Koda has anger and abandonment issues after her parents died in a war and is a Je’daii Ranger. They are the main characters and central couple, who follow the enemies-to-lovers trope and have many parallels to Kylo Ren/Ben Solo and Rey. 
> 
> The series ends with them entering the Silent Desert. This story takes place during their time there. Since Dawn of the Jedi explores the beginnings of the Je'daii and the Force, this story explores one of the first Force bonds as well.

7 weeks, or one month, had passed since Tau and Shae entered the Silent Desert on Tython. The Je’daii had allowed Tau to explore the desert to meditate and find balance, as he was now trusted among the Masters after helping them defeat the Rakata and restore balance of the Force on the planet. But no one trusted Tau more than Shae, and she accompanied him on the trek. She too could benefit. But more importantly, they both longed to continue their journey together, wherever it would lead them. 

Shae travelled across the desert in isolation. This desert nullified all sound, erasing even the subtle sound of her breathing as she walked. She could feel the intense heat from the sand through the soles of her boots. Her feet began to burn in each step that she took. She stopped in her tracks as the wind began to pick up, carrying a blanket of sand that beat against her bare face and hands. She winced at how hot the sand and wind felt against her skin. She lifted the hood of her black cloak over her head and continued walking. Nothing would keep her from her destination, no matter how much her skin burned, even through her clothes and armor.

The sand began to bury her steps, her legs sinking knee deep as the depth of the sand rose along her path. There was still nothing surrounding her, but only that of the vast desert. An increasing sand storm now began to block her view. She grasped her hood to keep it over her head, but never strayed. She squinted through the sand that the wind hurled in her direction. Each movement she made ached and burned, but she had fared worse. Far worse. 

His presence was near. His warmth through their bond was one of comfort, one in complete contrast to the feel of the scorching sand pummeling against her body. A smile hinted at the edges of her mouth. It was one in defiance of the harsh environment trying to bring her to her knees and forever bury her. 

But something stopped her. It wasn’t the barriers of sand. Or the feel of fire igniting around her. Or the hot air that was making it difficult for her to breathe regularly. It was the silhouettes of two figures approaching her through the denseness of the storm. Although faint at first, the figures became recognizable as the storm began to settle down and dissipate. 

Shae gasped as she took a step back, and muttered a helpless _no_ that the desert would never hear nor respond to. 

It was her parents. 

She knew of the mirages of the desert, some she and Tau had witnessed together during their journey. But this was too cruel and too painful. She had thought the mirages were only random, but it appeared they could also be based on one’s own fears and desires. In this case, her fears. The weight of her chest plate began to feel heavy, weighing her down and limiting her movements. 

Her parents continued walking towards her, through the sand that now reached midway up her thigh. She closed her eyes. 

_You’re not real. You’re dead. You left me to fight in the war._

When she opened her eyes, she was met with the same image, at which she bared her teeth and glared. She grabbed the hilt of her Forcesaber. The anger from their abandonment and their deaths ignited it. 

She held the hilt desperately in both hands as she lunged forward and swung. Her mind screaming _No!_

* * *

Tau was sitting atop one of the great sand sculptures, which decorated the desolate environment. These were the only landmarks. The erections of these structures were mysterious, but they added some solace to the much barren land surrounding him. 

He sat cross legged, while levitating as he meditated. She was close. They had been pushing the limits of their powers by assessing their Force bond with a game. That morning, he left Shae sound asleep. He trekked across the desert alone in a random direction to an unknown location. With him, he brought a sack with water and small sand lizards for the day’s nourishment. 

Now, he waited for her to find him through their shared bond.

But his eyes sprung open as a haunting sound reverberated all around him. The sound was familiar, in a familiar voice. _Her_ voice. It was only one word, but it echoed to no end.

_No!_

He could feel her discomfort and deep anger through the Force. It was if the trauma was his own and was tearing away through his own heart. But the sound bewildered him. They had never been able to hear sound while they were out there. It was an impossibility that all on Tython knew. But there it was. As clear as the very thoughts that now ran through his mind.

He was ready to jump down and run in her direction, but something else kept him sitting there. He reclosed his eyes, his eyebrows drawn together, as he focused not on the Force itself, but on how the Force guided him to her and to her pain. To her darkness.

* * *

Her energy blade sliced through her parents in repeated diagonal strikes. She took swift, sweeping strokes, hoping that they were enough to erase them from her sight. And her mind. Her anger towards them kept her going, as tears began to well up and threaten to fall. 

_Shae._

The moment she heard her name, he appeared before her. In her anger, her blade went through him. She dropped her saber in realization of her lack of control. Her hands covered her mouth, her screams of his name neither visible nor audible. 

Tau was standing before her, in front of her parents. The desert kept sending her mirages of her fears. And she cursed it for what it was doing to her. For making her relive the memories she feared and angered her. How much she feared losing him. She almost lost him when he returned to his Rakatan Masters, and it brought up the same feelings of abandonment. The Force was testing her through these mirages of her parents and now of her lover. 

_Shae. It’s all right._

It was the first time she heard his voice all day. The comfort of it eased her tense muscles throughout her body, but she glanced around looking for its source. The vision before him never moved his mouth. Could the desert have also made her hear sounds in her head as well? Or was the desert driving her mad? But her eyes settled on the image that looked like the man she loved. And this man’s eyes never once left her, while he remained as still as the sand now did. 

With caution, she raised her hand until her fingertips met the chest of his armor, believing them to go through it as her blade did. But instead, they met its solid form, and she immediately withdrew her hand from him.

 _How?_ Was all she could ask herself as she stared wide-eyed at him. 

_Our bond._

Shae’s body stiffened as she heard his voice again in her mind. But this time it was in response to her own thoughts. 

Tau tentatively took the same hand she withdrew in his. He had the same caution in his movements as she did. His chest rose and fell as if letting out a sigh. Shae knew the feel of the roughness and warmth of his hands, as they met her skin. She also knew the specific way his fingers curled against her hand. It was unmistakably him. No mirage nor vision could mimic how he felt. It was then that she knew the person standing before her was not like the mirage of her parents, but truly Tau himself. 

Her bond with him formed a mental connection that allowed them to share their thoughts with each other. It was a new element of their bond, and one that now helped ease the isolation of the soundless desert. But it appeared it was not only thoughts, but also an actual physical form that reached across space. 

_I was supposed to find you._ She tried to reach him where the desert could not swallow her voice.

 _I sensed your despair and anger. I was afraid for your safety._ He responded with ease. It was no different than having a verbal conversation, like the many ones they had when they laid together in the underground caverns of the Silent Desert, where sound and their voices could finally carry to each other.

She flicked a glance behind him as she still saw the mirage of her parents waiting. Tau squeezed her hand, bringing her focus back to him. 

_What do you see?_

_Do you not see them?_

Tau looked around and shook his head. _All I see is you._ Shae could see a confusion in his eyes that matched her own. _Shae, meet me in the light._

And as soon as he stated those words, he disappeared. Her fingers curled around the space his hand once was. Her fingertips now met her palm. She looked up and saw her parents still watching her.

 _Meet me in the light_.

She kneeled in front of the mirage and closed her eyes, meditating on the Force. Although she still carried the anger towards her parents, she knew she could not let it consume her. She allowed herself to be pulled towards the light, and it was warm, calm, and comforting. Within the light, she saw him waiting for her. He was perched on one of the many sand sculptures they had come across. But this one was different. It was majestic in height, with long and elegant curves like rolling hills.

Shae opened her eyes. The mirage was gone. Her body rose from the sand.

She grabbed her Forcesaber and raced through the desert, allowing the Force to guide her. Her bond to guide her. His light to guide her.

* * *

Tau collapsed backwards onto the sand. Reaching out to Shae took much energy out of him. He was afraid that she was in danger, from the intense heat of the sand or from being attacked by a mankle with its spines piercing through her armor. He knew he could not reach her in time, so he tried to reach her through their Force bond. But it had unexpected results. While lying there, he had many questions, ones he hoped to discuss with Shae once she found him. How far could he reach her? For how long? How was he able to touch her? Could she do it too? But there was one thing he was certain of, their bond was powerful.

The evening was approaching, and the sand began to cool as he remained lying against it. But finally he sat up and stared out towards the horizon, towards the giant moon that filled the sky. Out of the horizon she came, running in haste in his direction. The closer she approached, he could see her long red hair flowing behind her as she ran and a wide smile spread across her face. He could sense that she was no longer suffering in her emotional pain. She felt balanced.

As she neared the sand sculpture, she eyed him and then jumped, using the Force to push her body off the ground to reach Tau at the height he sat. She outstretched her arm with Tau catching her by the hand and helping her up. She leaned her forehead against his--her green marking meeting his purple one--as she caught her breath, but her smile never wavered. 

_I found you._ She stated in confidence, breaking the deafening silence. Speaking to him telepathically through their bond excited her and had become easy and natural for her as being there beside him. 

_I had no doubt._ And easy and natural for Tau as well.

Tau noticed some slight burns on her face and gave his usual, serious frown. The desert was not kind to either of them. They would both be leaving with additional scars to remind them of their lessons there. But they would be scars well-deserved and full of meaning. But his frown was not only reserved for the notable injuries inflicted upon by the sand. 

_What led you so deep into the dark?_ His question was not in judgement, but in concern.

A contemplative silence emerged from inside of Shae, and she turned to face the glow of the moon. 

_A mirage of my parents._

Tau knew how Shae felt about her parents. That simple response made him understand the anger and fear he felt from her through their bond. Even now, with only a brief mention of them, it still lingered within her. And as the light of the moon accented the soft curves of her face, he could see it there too once her smile dropped.

 _Perhaps I can forgive them one day because drowning in those feelings brings me into an imbalance with the Force._ She felt her body lean into his. _Thank you for meeting me in the darkness and leading me out with your light._ Her body relaxed against him. _But you. You weren’t a mirage. I still don’t understand how you did that._

Tau was composed, and his body was a steady support for Shae to relax into. He lifted his head to also meet his gaze at the moon, which filled most of the scenery in front of them. 

_Do you remember when we first met?_

Shae sat up straight and attentive. _You trying to kill us? How could I ever forget that?_ Shae smirked with a nod. 

_When I thought I was to die by your hand, I offered you my heart to eat._

_You called it the honor portion. But victors eating the losers is not our way._

_I know. I know that now. And it is no longer my way. I never knew you would indeed have my heart in the end afterall._ His eyes caught and locked onto hers. His smiling was a rarity, but the corners of his lips faintly rose as he continued speaking. _That is how I did that. Because you have my heart and my very soul. Perhaps I now understand what you mean by love._

Love was not a concept Tau understood when he was once called Xesh. All he knew was the darkness and the hatred and anger it brought. But it also brought fear, which was a necessary emotion when he felt this need for Shae. It was this fear that helped him reach out to her, and it was this concept of love that ultimately helped him reach her across the desert sands. Was his love for her the one thing that was bringing him balance in the Force after the many years of only living in the dark? And was it the same for her? They would soon learn that as they both seeked their own individual balance in the Force, their Force bond--and their love--was central to that very balance.

Shae met Tau with a gentle but full kiss. As he returned the affection, their love for each other was true and tangible through the Force. It enveloped them, protected them, and guided them in their journey through the light and the dark. And it was in that very moment when they couldn’t have been more grateful for their meeting and for each other. 

_Your turn tomorrow. I’ll come find you and see what else our bond can do._

  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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